Your boss just texted you about a deadline for the third time in an hour, a little snippier than you’d prefer. Or maybe your colleague totally brushed you off in a meeting, gaslighting your feelings. Or in a review, you left feeling shamed about a project you poured your whole heart into. From nasty comments to more manipulative toxicity, workplace incivility is on the rise—and it’s damaging relationships and careers.
According to a newly released Quarter 1 2025 Civility Index from SHRM, a human resources organization, instances of incivility at work in the U.S. have risen more than 20% since the same time last year. But this isn’t new: A 2023 American Psychological Association (APA) poll found that around 1 in 5 employees call their workplace “toxic.” This means if you’ve been leaving work feeling terrible, you aren’t alone.
What is incivility at work?
Examples of incivility in the workplace include gaslighting, shaming and micromanaging amongst co-workers, bosses or others in the work environment. The SHRM index rates the level of incivility at U.S. workplaces on a scale starting with “incivility is rare” and ranging through it being more commonplace (a “take action” level), through severe and constant, which they call “code red.” The chart included in the report aims to communicate to both bosses and employees that incivility at work is contributing to a toxic workplace culture, which can impact everything from employee health and satisfaction to turnover rates and, therefore, company profits. Additionally, the APA poll mentioned above reported that almost 1 in 3 people have witnessed negative insults or jokes that devalue identity or negate someone’s thoughts or background.
How much does incivility cost?
SHRM estimates that “U.S. organizations collectively lose approximately $1,313,833,094 per day in reduced productivity due to uncivil behaviors at work.” This is due to absenteeism and lack of employee productivity as a result of workplace environments subject to incivility. There are other less obvious costs, of course, on a personal level that employees themselves often incur, including mental health care that may be required to undo workplace damage and trauma. According to MIT, during the Great Resignation, toxic corporate culture was the greatest driving force, costing companies handsomely in attrition rates and hiring costs.
Why is everyone so mad?
The index points to five specific aspects of modern life that workers are allowing to infiltrate the workplace. It also reports that nearly 6 in 10 people think our wider society is uncivil, and this workplace issue simply reflects that.
These aspects include:
- Racial or ethnic differences
- Political viewpoints
- Gender differences
- Difference in opinion on social issues
- Age or generational differences
Are you contributing to incivility at work?
While everyone likes to point fingers at others, it’s important to look in the mirror to ensure you aren’t contributing to the problem, even unknowingly. Start by learning about the different ways employees, colleagues or leaders might perceive incivility coming from you, such as gathering information through company surveys or direct conversation.
Once you learn some phrases and actions that might be contributing to incivility, you can better recognize patterns in yourself, such as with gaslighting others. This involves questioning or demeaning someone’s morality, sanity or sense of self, Cleveland Clinic reports. If you find yourself saying things like: “I was just joking around,” “Why are you so sensitive?” “Don’t take it personally,” “You don’t really mean that,” “Calm down,” or “I’m sorry you feel that way,” you might be participating in gaslighting.
How to handle incivility at work
First, if you are a supervisor, understand your responsibility and ethical obligation to act when you notice incivility at work. SHRM reports 71% of respondents in their report think their supervisor could have done more to prevent incivility. Leaders can and should create clear boundaries around communication between team members, and norms such as not discussing politics at work. SHRM also shares that teaching some cultural norms, such as using “I” statements like “I feel…” can shift the vibe at work.
If you are experiencing incivility from a co-worker, make sure you tell your direct supervisor, and keep track of the dates and instances of these occurrences in the event HR becomes involved. If your supervisor isn’t responding or doing enough to help, consider speaking directly to HR about the issue or asking what the next steps might be for your particular business.
Finally, speak up directly to the person bothering you by clearly stating the issue, how you feel, and what you’d like to see changed. You can also stand up for others who are experiencing discrimination. Your co-workers just might learn something from it too.
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